My heart is FULL !

The way I start off my Thanksgiving, going on 9 years now, is by running the TURKEY TROT! I roped my cute cousin into running with me, so together we made up TEAM GUNNER!

Last year I ran WITH Gunner.......

This year I got to run FOR Gunner!

What a special privilege that was! I thought of my baby every single step, of all 6 1/2 miles! I just kept telling myself, this if for him, run fast for him, keep going for him, you can do something hard for him! It was so motivating to hear people yell "Im a runner for Gunner too" as we would run by them! He truly put the pep in my step, it was by far the best run I have ever had!




We celebrated Thanksgiving with the Goodman's this year! We truly have much to be thankful for! Here is the most updated pic, including the family's newest addition, little Rusty! A lot of people think the traditional Thanksgiving meal is overrated.. I have to beg to differ! I love and look forward to having a belly full of turkey, green bean casserole, and mashed potaotes with gravy!



The arrival of Thanksgiving brought much anxiety for me. The day after brought even more. I knew EXACTLY what I was doing at what time on that day last year...the more I thought about it, the more it consumed me, the memories came flooding in, and unfortunately so did the sadness! I just couldn't get over at how HUMBLED I was by how much ones' life could change in just a short year... truly, everything I once knew, really was no longer. I had no idea that I could be so HAPPY one minute, and so SAD the next. So, ironically, at about the same time I gave BIRTH to my special boy last year, I was crying my eyes out about the LOSS of him this year. My REALLY bad days, truly are getting fewer and farther between (which I am most grateful for) but, its on days like those that I find I am most grateful. I relish the moments I get to sit back and ponder about my baby and let my thoughts be FULLY consumed by him. I go through all my pictures of him and smell his clothes. A good cry is so cleansing! After, I felt empowered! I was determined to make the next day, his birthday, a good day! And it was.... it really was!



We couldn't wait to go pay our sweet baby a visit! It still seems so surreal that we own a little plot of land at the Mesa Cemetery...every time I drive there I still have to pinch myself. When we pulled up to the cemetery, my parents and sister with her hubby were already there visiting, so they got to join in on the fun!

When I went to go buy Gunns some flowers I couldn't decide which kind, so I decided to buy him mommy's favorite, ROSES! Nothing but the best for my baby! :)



We did a little balloon release for Gunner... we watched those balloons till we couldn't see them anymore.





To celebrate Gunns' birthday, we wanted to give him a present. We went shopping as a family and bought a shopping cart full of baby items. The girls had fun each picking out different things that they thought were a baby "must have".....

We put everything together in a cute basket......

Then delivered it to Banner Gateway, the hospital where Gunner was born. We told the OB nurses to give our "gift" to a special baby that was born on that day.

What an amazing feeling that was, even the girls felt it! Gunner is our little gift, that just keeps on giving! We decided we would do this every year in honor of Gunner's special day! As his memory continues to touch our lives, it will continue to touch the lives of others as well!




HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY MY GUNNER GENE! Your family misses you SO much! I can't help but wonder what you would look like or if you would be walking yet??..... I think about you every second of every day son! You are my drive that makes me want to be a better person! You make me focus on the things that are TRULY important in this life. You make me love and appreciate your big sisters more than ever! You make me love your daddy more because you looked so much like him, when I look at him, I see YOU and your big, blue eyes! You are missed my love, I hope we are down here making you proud! I LOVE YOU BUDDY!!